Your toddler points at the cup and cries. Again. You know exactly what they want, but you find yourself thinking, "Why won't they just use their words?" You've modeled the word "water" a hundred times. You've waited patiently. You've encouraged gently. And still, they point and cry.
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know something really important: You're not alone in feeling this way, and your child isn't being difficult. They're in the middle of one of the most AMAZING developmental leaps of their entire life. They're learning to turn thoughts into sounds, sounds into words, and words into communication. And that, my wonderful friend, is nothing short of cosmic magic.
In this article, we'll explore what research tells us about this beautiful phase, why pointing and crying are actually successful communication, and gentle strategies you can use to support your little one's journey from gestures to words. We'll also discover how stories can help children understand the power and magic of communication.
Understanding This Magical Phase
Let me share what the Magic Book has taught me about language development. The first three years of life are the most intensive period for acquiring speech and language skills. During these years, your child's brain is making connections at a speed we can barely imagine. According to the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, children develop language best in environments rich with sounds, sights, and consistent exposure to speech.
Here's what's happening in your toddler's amazing brain:
The Language Development Timeline
By eighteen months, most toddlers know between twenty and one hundred meaningful words. That's a huge range, and wherever your child falls on that spectrum is exactly right for them. By age two, they're starting to put two or three words together. And by age three, they have a word for almost everything.
But here's the thing that's SO important to understand: Before your child can use words fluently, they're communicating in other ways. Crying, pointing, smiling, reaching, eye contact. These aren't failed attempts at communication. They're SUCCESSFUL communication, just in a different language.
"Crying, pointing, smiling, eye contact—these are all ways that toddlers communicate before developing full verbal language."
— Rachel Cortese, MS, CCC-SLP, Child Mind Institute
Your toddler is telling you exactly what they need. They're just using the tools they have right now. And when you respond to those gestures and sounds with patience and understanding, something magical happens. You're teaching them that communication works. You're showing them that their needs matter. You're building the foundation for confident language use.
Why This Phase Feels Frustrating (And That's Okay)
Let's be honest about something. This phase can feel exhausting. When you're tired, when you've had a long day, when your toddler is pointing and crying for the fifth time in ten minutes, it's natural to feel frustrated. That doesn't make you a bad parent. It makes you human.
Research from the Raising Children Network shows that frustration during the language learning phase is completely normal—for both parents AND children. Your toddler is working to express increasingly complex thoughts with developing vocabulary. They know what they want to say, but they don't yet have all the words to say it. That gap between intention and ability can be frustrating for them too.
The beautiful truth? This phase won't last forever. One day, sooner than you think, your child will have SO many words that you'll barely remember these quiet days of pointing and gesturing. But right now, in this moment, you have the opportunity to be their gentle guide through one of life's most important learning journeys.
Four Gentle Strategies That Support Language Development
So what can you do to support your little one on this journey from pointing to words? Here are four research-backed strategies that work beautifully:
1. Become a Narrator of Your World
As you move through your day together, put words to everything. "I'm pouring water into your blue cup." "Let's put on your soft socks." "Look at that bird flying in the sky." You're not lecturing them—you're simply modeling how language works. You're showing them that everything has a name, and that words help us share our experiences.
This strategy is backed by research showing that children develop language skills best when immersed in environments with consistent exposure to speech. Every word you speak is a gift to your child's developing vocabulary.
2. Expand on Their Attempts
When your child points at the cup and says "uh," you can say, "Oh, you want water! Here's your water." You're not correcting them—you're expanding their vocabulary naturally. You're showing them the word they're reaching for.
This technique, recommended by speech-language pathologists, helps children make the connection between their communication attempt and the correct word, without any pressure or correction that might discourage them from trying.
3. Wait with Patience
When your child is trying to communicate, give them time. Count to five in your head before jumping in to help. Sometimes they just need a few extra seconds to find the word or the gesture. Your patient presence tells them, "I believe in you. Take your time."
This waiting time is crucial. It gives your child the space to process their thoughts, search for words, and build confidence in their communication abilities. Rushing in too quickly can inadvertently teach them that they don't need to try because you'll always anticipate their needs.
4. Celebrate Every Attempt
Whether they point, gesture, make a sound, or say an approximation of a word, respond with warmth and enthusiasm. "Yes, you want the ball! Here's the ball!" Your positive response teaches them that communication is powerful and effective.
Celebration doesn't mean over-the-top praise that feels forced. It means genuine acknowledgment that says, "I heard you. I understand you. Your communication matters." This builds the confidence children need to keep trying, keep learning, and keep growing.
The Power of Stories in Language Development
Here's something beautiful that the Magic Book has shown me: Stories are one of the most powerful tools for supporting language development. When children hear stories, they're not just being entertained—they're learning vocabulary, sentence structure, narrative flow, and the magical truth that words have power.
Stories show children that communication creates connection. That words can express feelings, share ideas, and build relationships. That gentle communication brings positive responses from the world around them.
A Story That Can Help
In The Book of Inara, we have a beautiful story that brings these concepts to life for your child:
The Greenhouse Where Plants Whisper Thank You
Perfect for: Ages 2-3
What makes it special: In this magical story, Milo and Nana discover a greenhouse where plants glow softly when they hear kind words and feel gentle touches. The plants respond to communication, showing Milo and Nana that words have power and meaning.
Key lesson: This story beautifully demonstrates that gentle communication creates connection and positive responses. When the plants glow in response to kind words, children see a magical representation of how their words affect the world around them. It helps them understand that using words isn't just about getting what they need—it's about creating connection and sharing love.
How to use this story: After reading together, you can practice using gentle words throughout your day. You might say to your child, "Let's use our gentle words with the plants, just like Milo and Nana." Or when they successfully use a word instead of pointing, you can say, "Your words made me understand, just like the plants understood Milo's kind words!"
You're Doing Beautifully
Remember, my wonderful friend, every point, every gesture, every sound your child makes is practice for verbal communication. They're not being difficult or stubborn. They're learning one of the most complex skills humans ever master. They're learning to take the swirling thoughts and feelings inside their heart and turn them into sounds that another person can understand. That's INCREDIBLE.
And you, wonderful parent, you're their most important teacher. Not through formal lessons or flashcards, but through your patient presence, your warm responses, and your belief in their ability to learn. Every time you respond to their communication attempts with understanding, you're building their confidence. Every time you model language naturally, you're giving them the tools they need. Every time you wait patiently for them to find their words, you're telling them, "I trust you. You can do this."
The research is so clear on this: Children who have parents who respond patiently to both verbal and nonverbal communication develop stronger language skills and greater confidence. It's not about pushing them to talk before they're ready. It's about creating an environment where communication feels safe, effective, and valued.
So if you're in this phase right now, if your little one is pointing and crying and you're feeling exhausted, I want you to take a deep breath. You're doing beautifully. Your child is exactly where they need to be. This phase won't last forever. Until then, be their gentle guide. Narrate your world. Expand their attempts. Wait with patience. Celebrate every step. And read stories together that show them the magic and power of communication.
The Magic Book and I are always here for you, cheering you on through every phase of this beautiful journey.
With love and starlight,
Inara
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Show transcript
Hello, my wonderful friend! It's me, Inara, and I am SO happy you're here today. You know, the Magic Book and I have been noticing something beautiful happening in homes all around the world. Parents are watching their little ones transition from pointing and crying to using their very first words, and it's one of the most magical journeys we get to witness.
But I also know that this journey can feel frustrating sometimes. When your toddler points at the cup and cries instead of saying water, when they tug at your leg and whimper instead of telling you what they need, it can feel exhausting. You might find yourself thinking, why won't they just use their words?
And I want you to know something really important. You're not alone in feeling this way, and your child isn't being difficult. They're in the middle of one of the most AMAZING developmental leaps of their entire life. They're learning to turn thoughts into sounds, sounds into words, and words into communication. And that, my friend, is nothing short of cosmic magic.
Let me share what the Magic Book has taught me about this beautiful phase.
Research shows us that the first three years of life are the most intensive period for language development. During these years, your child's brain is making connections at a speed we can barely imagine. By eighteen months, most toddlers know between twenty and one hundred words. By age two, they're starting to put two or three words together. And by age three, they have a word for almost everything.
But here's the thing that's SO important to understand. Before your child can use words fluently, they're communicating in other ways. Crying, pointing, smiling, reaching, eye contact. These aren't failed attempts at communication. They're SUCCESSFUL communication, just in a different language. Your toddler is telling you exactly what they need. They're just using the tools they have right now.
And when you respond to those gestures and sounds with patience and understanding, something magical happens. You're teaching them that communication works. You're showing them that their needs matter. You're building the foundation for confident language use.
So what can you do to support your little one on this journey from pointing to words?
First, become a narrator of your world. As you move through your day together, put words to everything. I'm pouring water into your blue cup. Let's put on your soft socks. Look at that bird flying in the sky. You're not lecturing them, you're simply modeling how language works. You're showing them that everything has a name, and that words help us share our experiences.
Second, expand on their attempts. When your child points at the cup and says uh, you can say, oh, you want water! Here's your water. You're not correcting them, you're expanding their vocabulary naturally. You're showing them the word they're reaching for.
Third, wait with patience. When your child is trying to communicate, give them time. Count to five in your head before jumping in to help. Sometimes they just need a few extra seconds to find the word or the gesture. Your patient presence tells them, I believe in you. Take your time.
Fourth, celebrate every attempt. Whether they point, gesture, make a sound, or say an approximation of a word, respond with warmth and enthusiasm. Yes, you want the ball! Here's the ball! Your positive response teaches them that communication is powerful and effective.
And here's something the Magic Book showed me that I think you'll love. There's a story in our library called The Greenhouse Where Plants Whisper Thank You. In this story, Milo and Nana discover a magical greenhouse where plants glow softly when they hear kind words and feel gentle touches. The plants respond to communication, showing Milo and Nana that words have power and meaning.
This story is perfect for this phase because it shows children that gentle communication creates connection and positive responses. When the plants glow in response to kind words, children see a beautiful representation of how their words affect the world around them. It helps them understand that using words isn't just about getting what they need, it's about creating connection and sharing love.
After you read this story together, you can practice using gentle words throughout your day. You might say to your child, let's use our gentle words with the plants, just like Milo and Nana. Or when they successfully use a word instead of pointing, you can say, your words made me understand, just like the plants understood Milo's kind words!
Remember, my friend, every point, every gesture, every sound your child makes is practice for verbal communication. They're not being difficult or stubborn. They're learning one of the most complex skills humans ever master. They're learning to take the swirling thoughts and feelings inside their heart and turn them into sounds that another person can understand. That's INCREDIBLE.
And you, wonderful parent, you're their most important teacher. Not through formal lessons or flashcards, but through your patient presence, your warm responses, and your belief in their ability to learn. Every time you respond to their communication attempts with understanding, you're building their confidence. Every time you model language naturally, you're giving them the tools they need. Every time you wait patiently for them to find their words, you're telling them, I trust you. You can do this.
The research is so clear on this. Children who have parents who respond patiently to both verbal and nonverbal communication develop stronger language skills and greater confidence. It's not about pushing them to talk before they're ready. It's about creating an environment where communication feels safe, effective, and valued.
So if you're in this phase right now, if your little one is pointing and crying and you're feeling exhausted, I want you to take a deep breath. You're doing beautifully. Your child is exactly where they need to be. This phase won't last forever. One day, sooner than you think, they'll have SO many words that you'll barely remember these quiet days.
Until then, be their gentle guide. Narrate your world. Expand their attempts. Wait with patience. Celebrate every step. And read stories together that show them the magic and power of communication.
The Magic Book and I are always here for you, cheering you on through every phase of this beautiful journey. You've got this, my wonderful friend.
With love and starlight, Inara.
