When Your Child Expresses Thoughts of Self-Harm: Getting Help Now

Hello, my dear friend. It's me, Inara. Before we begin today, I want you to take a deep breath with me. If your child has expressed thoughts about hurting themselves or not wanting to be alive, I need you to know something very important. This is a moment that requires immediate professional support. Please reach out to a mental health professional, your pediatrician, or a crisis helpline right away. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available twenty-four hours a day at one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five. You are not alone in this, and there is help available right now.

Now, let me sit with you for a moment, because I know your heart is breaking. I know you're scared. I know you're wondering how your precious child could be feeling such deep pain. And I want you to hear this. You are not a bad parent. Your child's emotional pain is not your fault. What your child is experiencing is real, it's serious, and with proper professional support, there is so much hope for healing.

The Magic Book has taught me something profound about children and emotional pain. When young children express thoughts about hurting themselves or not wanting to be alive, they are communicating something very specific. They are telling us that the feelings inside them have become so overwhelming, so big, so confusing, that they don't know how to manage them anymore. Research from child development experts, including Dr. Peter Wyman at the University of Rochester School of Medicine, shows us that these expressions are often about difficulty managing intense emotions like anger, sadness, or frustration in the face of challenges that feel impossible to handle.

Here's what's so important to understand. Your child's brain is still developing the skills needed to regulate big emotions. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that helps us manage feelings and think through problems, is still growing and won't be fully developed until their mid-twenties. When children ages six and seven experience emotional overwhelm, they sometimes express it in ways that sound frightening to us as parents, but what they're really saying is, I need help. I don't know how to handle what I'm feeling. Please help me.

The American Academy of Pediatrics wants parents to know this. When children express thoughts of self-harm, it does not mean they truly want to die. It means they are struggling with feelings that feel unmanageable, and they need professional support to learn healthier ways to cope. And here's the beautiful truth. With proper help, with compassionate intervention, with family therapy and individual counseling, children can and do develop the emotional regulation skills they need. They can learn to manage difficult feelings. They can heal. They can rediscover joy and appreciation for life.

So what can you do right now, today, in this moment? First, if you haven't already, please reach out for professional help immediately. Contact your child's pediatrician, a child therapist, or a crisis helpline. This is not something to wait on. Your child needs professional support, and you need support too.

Second, while you're connecting with professionals, I want you to know that your presence matters enormously. Your child needs to know they are safe with you, that you are not angry or scared of their feelings, that you are their steady anchor in this storm. When they express these difficult thoughts, try to stay calm. I know that's incredibly hard, but your calm presence tells them, I can handle your big feelings. You are safe with me. We will get through this together.

Third, listen without judgment. If your child shares their feelings with you, resist the urge to dismiss them or say things like, You don't really mean that, or, You have so much to live for. Instead, try saying, I hear you. That sounds like such a hard feeling. I'm so glad you told me. Let's get some help together. Your validation of their emotional experience, combined with immediate action to get professional support, creates a foundation for healing.

The research is clear on this. Children whose parents respond with empathy rather than panic, who seek professional help quickly, and who create a supportive environment where feelings can be expressed safely, these children develop better emotional regulation skills over time. They learn that difficult feelings are temporary, that they can be managed, and that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Now, I want to share something with you from the Magic Book. We have a story called The Room Where Hearts Speak Softly, about Theo and Miles discovering that everyone, even adults, has invisible worries and struggles. This story teaches children something beautiful. It shows them that emotional pain is real, that it's part of being human, and that caring conversations and small acts of kindness can help heal hearts.

This story can be a gentle bridge for conversations with your child about feelings that are hard to see on the outside but very real on the inside. It can help them understand that professional helpers, like therapists and counselors, are caring people who specialize in healing invisible hurts. Just like a doctor helps when our body is hurt, a therapist helps when our heart and mind are hurting.

You can find this story in The Book of Inara app, and I encourage you to read it together when the time feels right. Not as a solution, but as a gentle companion on the journey toward healing.

I also want you to know that you don't have to navigate this alone. Family therapy can be incredibly helpful, giving everyone in the family tools to support each other and communicate about difficult feelings. Parent support groups exist where you can connect with other parents who understand what you're going through. And individual therapy for you can help you process your own feelings of fear, guilt, or overwhelm so you can be the steady presence your child needs.

The Magic Book whispers this truth to me. Healing is possible. Hope is real. Your child's current pain does not define their future. With professional support, with your love, with time and patience and the right tools, children can learn to manage overwhelming emotions. They can develop resilience. They can find joy again. They can grow into adults who know how to ask for help when they need it, who understand that difficult feelings pass, and who appreciate the gift of life.

So here's what I want you to remember, my dear friend. You are not alone. Your child is not broken. This is a medical and emotional health issue that requires professional intervention, just like any other health concern. You are doing the right thing by seeking help. You are being a good parent by taking this seriously. And there is so much hope for healing and recovery.

Please, reach out for help today. Call your pediatrician. Contact a child therapist. Reach out to a crisis helpline if you need immediate support. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five, available twenty-four hours a day. The Crisis Text Line is available by texting HOME to seven four one seven four one.

You've got this, my wonderful friend. Not because you have to do this alone, but because you're willing to reach out for the professional support your child needs. That takes courage. That takes love. And that is exactly what your child needs from you right now.

The Magic Book and I are holding you in our hearts. With love and hope for healing, Inara.